Management Schmanagement

My week in a nutshell . . .





(Click on the above photo to see it in full resolution.)

The hubby says I need to think of this as an opportunity to grow in my management skills.

. . .

The one and only nice thing about southwestern Florida

My very irish hubby slathering on the sunscreen so as to avoid getting crispy. If only I had done the same . . . I mean, to be fair to myself, I used to be able to handle an hour/hour and a half of sun back in my CA college girl days - no sweat. But, alas, it seems that my cushy desk job has put an end to that. I am now naught but an animate pile of peeley grossness. Yuck.



Our towels and handy-dandy fold-up camp chairs. Very comfy for beach sitting.



Not a particularly flattering angle on my legs, but hey, the shot is kinda cute, anyway.



You've just gotta love the tilly hat. ;)











SO . . . MANY . . . SHELLS . . . !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Florida Photo Montage

Sampling of some shots of my current place of employment - i.e., Canizaro Library. The last shot is of the furniture in the 24-hour reading room, which I had just rearranged to solve some practical problems caused by idiotic design (e.g., electrical outlets in completely inaccessible places). There's this big pseudo-philosophical argument about whether function should follow form or form follow function, and everyone's always bringing that up as the root cause of our (i.e., the librarians') dissatisfaction with this place, but as far as I'm concerned the buildings here are so ugly the whole debate is positively moot. Form indeed. Form of what, may I ask? A cannery? We sacrificed functionality in order to achieve the perfect form of a flipping cannery?

Oi.





Some nighttime pictures of the oratory, taken by the hubby. Please ignore the me that fouls up the second shot.





Not my best shots ever, to say the least, but I thought I'd put them up anyway. These are from a baby shower for a wife/baby of a graduate student (in Matthew's graduating class). Gives you some insight into the community of young mothers and very very young children that are make up my only social circle. I think, as of right now, I'm one of two graduate wives that *aren't* pregnant - and there are 30 some-odd grad students, most of them married. Yeah.

The woman in the last photo is really sweet - if I could find a way to spend more time with her it would be great, but unfortunately she lives in Fort Myers, having graduated from the masters program last December (her husband has a good job up in Fort Myers - there is really no reason for them to live here at Ave town, whatsover). She reminds me of what my mother was probably like as a young mom - realistic, but totally unfamiliar with babies and all things related to babies. She gives me this pathetic look of disgust when I point out things about her baby, Ollie, like, "Oh - he's focusing on things now. He's probably connecting to people a lot more now, isn't he?", "YES. Now, if I'd know that this was going to happen before, it would've made my life a heckuva lot easier. Why didn't someone tell me about it? WHY???" :) I am really, really, really, really thankful that I was the oldest child in a large(ish) family. It is going to save me from oodles of stress.

. . . However, on the flip side, I can't help but observe that in the meantime my experience seems to be adding oodles of stress. Meaning: I go to these graduate school parties, and am forced to watch all the 'young inexperienced mom' parenting skills, and then I twitch for days. Gosh, they're just kids, people. I mean, gee, sure, take your parenting seriously but for heaven's sake, you need a chill pill!! So, your Suzie inadvertently knocked over so-and-so's wobbley toddler - it's really not that big a deal. He's a toddler - chances are he's made of rubber.





Hubby and his bike. He loves to ride, and theoretically Florida would be a pleasant place to do so, being flatter than Western Kansas (no, I'm not even kidding - it's a swamp, so it is flat - if it were not flat, it would not be as much of a swamp, now, would it?) - - - however, the wind in Southwest Florida is so strong and so consistent (i.e., not gusty - long, hard, constant wind) that it's still a very challenging place to ride.

\

Houseplants - - no, they're not the most interesting thing ever, but the hubby dotes over any and every living thing in his care. These are very well taken care of houseplants, and he is very proud of them.



The yellow angel fish I got for my husband on his birthday in February. It seems to be a lot more outgoing and intelligent fish than most of the other kinds we have in our 20 gallon tank, so it's been a lot of fun to watch him.



GREAT BIG MOTH - courtesy of southwest Florida. Boy oh boy.

Soundtrack for Holy Week

St. Matthew's Passion, by Johann Sebastian Bach.

I also highly recommend doing some research on the piece itself - I once heard a great lecture about it in college. Although the particulars have long since flown from memory, I remember thinking that it was a very interesting and profound piece.

. . . When will I ever learn to just wear the stupid sunscreen? . . .

:( !

Anxiety

Okay . . . it's official . . . I'm starting to feel pretty twitchy.

I guess what probably triggered it was having to tell my co-worker that I could only conditionally agree to work the Saturday of Memorial Day weekend, based on whether or not we still live here.

*^%& this state of uncertainty, I say. %$*& it all to heck.

Blog hopping . . .

So, I'm in a better mood, if not a great one. I'm trying to reconcile myself to the fact that my life is going to be 'smaller' from here on out, so it's up to me to adjust. The first step towards obtaining realistic, Christian optimism is adjusting your expectations.

However, still not quite being adjusted to this, and lacking the opportunities and the resources to talk to *real people*, I've turned to the internet. LOL. Don't worry - I won't make a habit of it.

I've been hopping from linked blog to linked blog here, starting with my friends' blogs and branching out from there. It's weird - if you dig deep enough in people's back posts and pay close enough attention to what they say, it's not too hard to find blog written by people you already know or who are at least people related to people you know.

One of said blogs revealed this highly entertaining photo journal. It's a series of masterfully artistic shots, illustrating a wide range of people and the food they eat for breakfast. I love the way he composed the shots so as to be faithful to the character of morning light, and I think the fact that the people were very obviously photographed in the morning is absolutely hilarious. This shot is my favorite (esp. note the wet hair - I do definitely do that every day):



Also, just so you know, I've been scribbling pages of interesting half-thunk thinkings for weeks now. I just need to actually take some time and put them out onto the ol' blog. :) So, worry not, more interesting things are (eventually) coming your way.

Lonliness

If there is one facet of my newly-married life that I did not expect, it's the lonliness.

It never occurs to me how lonely I am in the day-to-day, happily cleaning my little space, working my little job and cooking our little meals. Don't get me wrong - it's not like I don't enjoy everything about the things I'm doing. I wholeheartedly do.

It never becomes obvious to me that I'm lonely at all until I participate in a social activity some sort, and I can see myself with my inner scrutiy, as it were, from the outside. That's when I become painfully aware that my behaviour reflects incredibly nerdy, manic hyperactivity. I'm positiely starving for contact with human beings. It's shameful I tell you. SHAMEFUL.

Now, I was always talkative and overzealous for social interaction: you should see the family videos displaying Emily Anne at the ages of 2 and 3. They're downright scary. But DARNIT . . . I thought I'd grown out of that.

For instance, when I was at college, I more frequently witnessed myself lying back, relaxing, and just letting social activity "happen", as it were. It was, overall, a more successful way to socialize: I listened to others more often, and it gave everyone else a much more honest representation of my thoughts and personality. I *want* to go back to behaving that way . . . I know what will happen if I don't. I will continue to remain disconnected, socially adrift - and most of all very lonely. However, I have a hunch that the only reason I'm manic in the first place is precisely because I'm lonely.

If only I could break the cycle . . .