Tuesday, January 30, 2007


Okay, so it made me laugh, alright?
I kinda needed it today.


I need to start being positive about my life - - now, don't get me wrong, I'm a natural optimist, but I'm also a compulsive worrier, and right now I have enough on my plate to worry about 200 compulsive worriers into asylums. The only solution to my problem seems to be . . .

finding a way to stop worrying.

Hmmm . . .

maybe, if I do that, I can be more positive.
Suggestions, anyone?

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Oi

Last school week began with Nietzsche and Mr. Sheilds, then it ended with St. Thomas and Mr. O'Reilly. Whadda week. It ended a lot more lighthearted than it started, that's for dern sure . . .

It would have ended even better if my thesis advisor had not started expressing worry . . . if he starts to get really worried about this thesis I'm gonna lose it - go clear off my rocker - I just know it. However, as long as he explains this bit of St. Thomas to me I'm confident I can really start cranking out a full draft on this thesis, daggum it. At least I'm not completely sick of my thesis topic, like some people . . . I dreaded that more than I dreaded having a very difficult one . . . like I happen to have . . .

So, it seems that I should never, ever, ever, ever drink mocha after 10 o'clock at night. I was up until FOUR O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING - - and my brain was so shot I couldn't even be productive. We're not gonna do THAT again anytime soon . . .

More updates later - - lots of love - -

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Terrible Way to Begin a Week


Confound this gentleman, I say.

His name? Friedrich Nietzsche.

Now, to be completely fair, there is something very facinating about the man, as a thinker and an author. I can't decide whether reading his work is more akin to watching a car wreck, a freak show, or a tragedy. Lest that sound shallow, let me explain - - there is still something very earthy, human, and sad about the conclusions Nietzsche falls upon. There is something which evokes sympathy. He falls in the way only a human being can manage to fall: that is, very, very hard. He desires to determine what is true, disappointed in thinking he has found and can find nothing true on his own. He committs the sins of Adam and Eve; he takes the bait and swallows down all the old, original lies - hook, line and sinker. There is something tragically dramatic in it all.

There is another benefit I gathered from reading his work; he has a lot of insight into how the sin of pride plays into our everyday lives. I cannot say how many times, when speaking of his super man, I thought of my own actions or the behaviour of other people I've known in my life. There is something of that 'unwritten rule' which is very familiar to me. It's something the intuitive are very familiar with, and something of which I have always been especially aware. I have always perceived those unspoken assertions of natural superiority, and I have also been very quick to meet them with a challenge. I have *always* hated being a follower, unless, of course, I had a reasoned cause for doing so. I accept leadership when it pleases me to do so, and at pretty much no other time; I am not a leader myself, but I do rather like being a rebel. Reading this work made me think twice about my reasons for doing that; it made me ask myself whether pride wasn't a major part of these instincts and social opinions. I'm still in the process of pondering that.

Now, however true all these observations are, there are a great many people from my seminar class who thought that any and all objections to Nietzsche's philosophy had to come from A) shallow intellectual abilities / emotional reaction or B) divine revelation.

Warning: I'm going to vent here.

If these people had been genteel enough for me to get a word in edgewise, they would have heard me point out that there are serious philosophical objections to Nietzsche's philosophy which are unacceptable on the level of natural law and common, down-to-earth SENSE. You simply cannot claim that his philosophy is true according to man's nature; we were not created to live that way. Fallen nature is not human nature - there is a distinction between our fallen temptations and our God-given being, and, for goodness sake, that distinction needs to be carefully made! Heaven forbid we should ascribe such disorder to the handiwork of our Creator!

I hate pidgeon holes - I get stuck into them more often than is either reasonable or fair. I mean, I was furious coming out of seminar because I had been stuck into this little bitty pidgeon hole - and there were some people who I normally respect who aided the egotistical effort to PUT me there. That makes me SO MAD!!! I fail to understand how people think it is better, in a classroom discussion, to assume a position that isn't being held and then completely hog the table so no progress can possibly be made. It was positively freshman-esque.

*Har-UMPH*

Now, after these kinds of offenses, my sanguine side normally takes over, especially after some sleep, and I subside into mild irritation with the offenders. Nevertheless, it's been a while now and I'm still really, really flamed.

And I pray, again, for the millionth time, a prayer which was definitely written for people like myself:

Lord, Grant me the serenity,
To accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom
to know
the difference.